Why clearing out is great
‘Yeah right. Do you know what I’ll find? All that old stuff that I threw in my closet and that I don’t know what to do with. I keep that door closed, so no one can see it.’ I see what you’re thinking, but I meant something else. Cleaning your home we know. Just like clearing out your car or your closet once in a while. But clearing out your emotions, is that on your list as well?
Piling up emotions
That disagreement you had, where you know you should have stood up for yourself but you didn’t and you’re still walking around in anger. That friendship or relationship that ended, you are mourning but moving on without really getting in touch with what you feel. All these things pile up and sometimes it’s just like that closet, the door opens and all the clutter comes out. You’re standing in the middle and you don’t know where to start. Sometimes you open the door yourself because you piled up too much and you’re bursting at the seams. Or something or someone upsets you and that little spark is just what it takes to make sure your door opens. Unfortunately at such a moment you won’t be able to control what comes out. Usually more than you intended and the person standing in front of you receives the whole load. Oops…
Clearing out emotions
Why piling up when clearing out is great? Because a really good cry or punching a pillow can be such a relief once in a while. It is healthy to express these emotions when they surface, but do this in a safe way for you and your surroundings. Feelings of anger, grief or hurt are difficult and surely no fun to really feel, but it does help. You will feel relieved afterwards. And it helps you to remove the sharp edges, because afterwards you will feel more calm.
Nowadays I have a regular clear out. When something happens that affects me emotionally I make time and allow myself to really feel how it affects me. To be able to do this I retreat to a quit place, at home or in nature. Afterwards I feel relieved and at ease like things really cleared and disappeared. It might not have changed the situation, but after allowing my feelings to be there, I clearly see what it means to me and what is important for me. It helps to enter a conversation with someone calmly to solve a disagreement. Or, when a conversation isn’t possible, to let go of what happened. Or to talk it over and share it with a friend.
It is important to feel emotions. Emotions want to be expressed. They want to tell you what a situation means to you. Emotions need to flow freely. Emotions like joy and love, but also the less favorite ones like anger, pain and grief. When you hang onto your emotions and don’t express them, they will get trapped inside your body. Your body eventually will try to tell you that something needs your attention, often in the form of physical complaints.
So, don’t pile things up, but have a good clear out when an emotion shows up. And like in a decluttered closet there is room for new nice clothes, new positive emotions can show up in a decluttered body.