Signs of a love deficiency

19 December 2016

You and I, we are living creatures. We have a heart that beats, blood that flows through our veins and brains that work. We have eyes and ears that observe and take in lots of things, feelings within that respond and all this held together by our skin. We have this well-oiled system that works together. That can keep working together because we nourish it with what it needs. We give it oxygen, food and water. It’s all that we basically need to survive, right?

Our basic needs

We make sure that none of these things are missing from our life.

We all know that feeling when we haven’t eaten on time. Our stomach that starts to make these certain noises, our body that begins to shiver and the moment we stand up we experience an unsteady feeling. All signs that we need to take action and we do so by supplying our system with food. We need to. Although we can go on without food for some hours (even days), studies show that by three weeks without food our system starts to shut down and eventually it stops. And we die.

We also recognize the signs of dehydration. A dry mouth, feeling weak and an inability to sweat may be signs that it’s time to drink some water. We can survive for a while, but after three days without fluids it’s done.

A shortage of oxygen gets critical even faster. Three minutes without, means it’s over for us humans.

Food, water and oxygen are our basic needs to survive.

Love, is another one of those needs.

How long do you think, can we survive without love?


Signs of a love deficiency

How long will it take before a heart, that doesn’t receive love, will grow cold and turn into stone and eventually will shut its door because it is too painful to feel the cold and the loneliness. And as such stops giving love as well.

How long will it take before a skin, that isn’t touched affectionately, turns insensitive for intimacy and other human beings. And as such pushes people away.

How long will it take before eyes, that aren’t shown examples of loving and respectful connections, close and become indifferent. And start to think that this is how it’s supposed to be.

How long will it take before ears, that don’t hear friendly and loving words, start to express themselves in a harsh and defensive voice. As a means of survival in the harshness they experience.



A significant reason to live or leave

We feed ourselves with so much more than only food, water and oxygen. We feed ourselves with love as well. We also feed ourselves with the absence of it. But are we aware of the signs?

A shortage or absence of love may not cause our body to die, like with the absence of food, water and oxygen. But inside, something else will die. And it may be the reason someone chooses to give up. Either emotionally or physically.

The scarcity of love in our society is becoming more and more evident.

And yet, it is so simple.

To open your arms and give someone a warm hug. An encouraging hand on your friends shoulder or to reach out and gently caress your child or lover. To raise your head when meeting a stranger in the street and look them straight in the eyes and smile.  When using your voice to choose friendly and loving words for your colleagues or neighbors. And by doing so showing to the ones that lost their faith in love, that it does exist. That there is a valid reason to stay here in this world, present and open.

Of course, it all starts with loving yourself first. But a human being cannot survive without feeling the love of another. A child cannot grow up and thrive without loving examples around him or her.

It costs nothing. No money at all. Only a few seconds of your time. A few seconds that will change the life of your fellow human being significantly.

I wonder, if love’s no longer here…. How long will you survive, without love?


Copyright featured image: Everton Vila

Copyright image in body text: Hian Oliveira



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Sensitief zijn en je emoties voelen is sterk en positief. Maar in onze samenleving vinden wij vaak het tegenovergestelde. Al lange tijd slaan we de plank volledig mis. We komen er steeds meer achter dat niet voelen en niet over je gevoelens praten juist voor problemen als stress, depressies en ongezonde keuzes zorgt. En dat sensitief zijn een sterke eigenschap is waar we veel meer mee kunnen. Door mijn verhalen te delen wil ik je laten zien dat sensitief zijn en je lastige emoties aangaan zoveel sterker is dan niet voelen en dat we als sensitief mens (wat we allemaal zijn) gewoon mogen Zijn.

About me
Being sensitive and feeling your emotions is powerful and positive. But for centuries we’re thinking quite the opposite. We’ve been wrong all this time. We are starting to understand that not feeling and avoiding to talk about our feelings is what is causing our problems (stress, depression, unhealthy choices). We now also know that being sensitive is more than emotions and that it’s a quality that can help us in many more ways. By sharing my own stories I’d love to show you that being sensitive and feeling your difficult emotions is much stronger than not feeling at all and that as a sensitive being (which we all are) we can just Be.
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