Persoonlijke ontwikkeling

The answer is love

27 July 2018

There is this saying

Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.

It has taken me years to understand these words by Mary Oliver. That you can learn from the most painful experiences in your life. That there is no need to dwell in shame in guilt or in grief. But if you let these emotions pass through you and really feel them you will come out on the other end and find your strength to change the situation you’re in.

The things I believe in and the stories that I write are all based on the meaning of these words. We shouldn’t run away from the difficult moments in our life and the emotions that rise in us. Living these words has given me back my voice, my strength and my self-worth and it allowed me to finally be my true self: open-hearted, filled with confidence and totally free to show who I am. But these past weeks have made me think and I’m not so sure any more about my beliefs: “Could I have learned the same things in a different way?”

I still believe that the key to improving our life lies in facing our difficult emotions. But why do we procrastinate so much in finding happiness?

The answer is love

Why do we keep running away from the challenges we meet? We avoid facing them time and time again and so these challenges grow bigger and more intense each time. Till finally they appear in our lives as unhealthy relationships (box full of darkness), crossing our boundaries and giving away too much or making us physically or emotionally ill. Why do we choose to take the difficult road?

Why won’t we choose happiness right away? Even it means that we have to overcome a small bump in the road and experience and conquer some insecurity, fear or doubt. Why won’t we grant ourselves more happiness?

The same question I’ve been asking myself these last weeks: “Why did I take the difficult road filled with challenges, unhealthy choices and the wrong people? Why didn’t I choose happiness right away?”

The next time you experience some insecurity, fear or doubt, pause and ask yourself this question: “what will make me the most happiest right now? And what do I need to give myself this?”

I bet that your answer is…love.


Photo credits: Emmanuel Phaeton on Unsplash



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Sensitief zijn en je emoties voelen is sterk en positief. Maar in onze samenleving vinden wij vaak het tegenovergestelde. Al lange tijd slaan we de plank volledig mis. We komen er steeds meer achter dat niet voelen en niet over je gevoelens praten juist voor problemen als stress, depressies en ongezonde keuzes zorgt. En dat sensitief zijn een sterke eigenschap is waar we veel meer mee kunnen. Door mijn verhalen te delen wil ik je laten zien dat sensitief zijn en je lastige emoties aangaan zoveel sterker is dan niet voelen en dat we als sensitief mens (wat we allemaal zijn) gewoon mogen Zijn.

About me
Being sensitive and feeling your emotions is powerful and positive. But for centuries we’re thinking quite the opposite. We’ve been wrong all this time. We are starting to understand that not feeling and avoiding to talk about our feelings is what is causing our problems (stress, depression, unhealthy choices). We now also know that being sensitive is more than emotions and that it’s a quality that can help us in many more ways. By sharing my own stories I’d love to show you that being sensitive and feeling your difficult emotions is much stronger than not feeling at all and that as a sensitive being (which we all are) we can just Be.
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