The answer is love
There is this saying
Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.
It has taken me years to understand these words by Mary Oliver. That you can learn from the most painful experiences in your life. That there is no need to dwell in shame in guilt or in grief. But if you let these emotions pass through you and really feel them you will come out on the other end and find your strength to change the situation you’re in.
The things I believe in and the stories that I write are all based on the meaning of these words. We shouldn’t run away from the difficult moments in our life and the emotions that rise in us. Living these words has given me back my voice, my strength and my self-worth and it allowed me to finally be my true self: open-hearted, filled with confidence and totally free to show who I am. But these past weeks have made me think and I’m not so sure any more about my beliefs: “Could I have learned the same things in a different way?”
I still believe that the key to improving our life lies in facing our difficult emotions. But why do we procrastinate so much in finding happiness?
The answer is love
Why do we keep running away from the challenges we meet? We avoid facing them time and time again and so these challenges grow bigger and more intense each time. Till finally they appear in our lives as unhealthy relationships (box full of darkness), crossing our boundaries and giving away too much or making us physically or emotionally ill. Why do we choose to take the difficult road?
Why won’t we choose happiness right away? Even it means that we have to overcome a small bump in the road and experience and conquer some insecurity, fear or doubt. Why won’t we grant ourselves more happiness?
The same question I’ve been asking myself these last weeks: “Why did I take the difficult road filled with challenges, unhealthy choices and the wrong people? Why didn’t I choose happiness right away?”
The next time you experience some insecurity, fear or doubt, pause and ask yourself this question: “what will make me the most happiest right now? And what do I need to give myself this?”
I bet that your answer is…love.