Personal Development Werk

The year of the doers, the rebels, the builders

8 January 2018

Every new beginning, whether it’s a new job, a new year or a new relationship we talk about our resolutions. This new year, more than ever before will be a year that just talking about them won’t do anymore. And especially how we talk about things will make the difference. This is the year of the rebels, the builders and the doers. The ones that have always known that there is a different way. The ones that are not going to wait anymore but are stepping up and make it happen.

Sure, we are angry and discontent. Many things happening right now are out of lign with how we wish to live our lives. That we speak up and let our voices be heard is necessary. But the way some people are using their voice is something that troubles me. A way that is fruitless and in order to transform our world it has to change.

I don’t know about you but I have had enough of all this anger and negativity in my life.

Is it getting us anywhere to keep complaining and criticizing others?

Break the cycle

An ideal life would be one that looks like a straight and uneventful path. You set a goal and you just keep on walking till you get there. Unfortunately for us that’s not how a life in general looks like. Every now and then we’ll encounter some obstacles. Situations that go wrong, people that get in our way or annoy us. Life’s purpose for us is to learn and grow. To face our challenges and question the beliefs we hold. To broaden our mind and teach us humility and compassion.

If we really want our society to change we have no choice but to face what is going on. We have to feel which things we do and don’t agree with. And then do something about it.

One of those ways is by using our voice. By starting a conversation with another and sharing our feelings and our worries. By setting healthy boundaries. Open and honest.

What won’t help, and what increases the divide and pulls us down even more is an unhealthy way of communicating. It is time to let that go.


How useful is it to stay angry, to complain and keep fighting against something? Is it helping us to keep pointing at someone else insisting they are wrong and responsible? Or that he or she is the one that has to change?

In my life I’ve come across different kinds of people. Some of them pretty mean and harsh. And at first it hurt. I felt attacked and I couldn’t understand why anyone could be so hostile. I experienced what it means to hate someone and I hated them for years. But it taught me something else; hurt people, hurt people.

Every one of us has their own experiences; in their family, in school, at work and with friends. It’s these experiences that shape us and form our beliefs and influence our behavior. And they’re not all good. Sometimes we don’t know there are other ways to be, until someone cares enough to listen to us. Someone who sees through our behavior and takes the time to ask questions and tries to understand our seemingly otherworldly beliefs.

Perhaps sometimes asking questions won’t work because a person doesn’t want to open up and talk. Or has difficulty recognizing their limiting view. And our influence doesn’t always reach that far to make an impact. If so, use your energy more wisely. Stop fighting against something or criticizing someone and show the world how it will work better. Start your own project in your neighborhood, sign up as a volunteer, run for office, start a foundation or your own business.

If you’ve found a cause in which you believe and you want to make it work, go ahead and start. But your efforts are worthless if at the same time you talk down on someone and speak badly of them. Tearing others down will breed resentment and ultimately turn into hate. Besides it won’t make you look any better. If you want to change things, then put all your energy in your own work and start doing it. People are much more inspired and inclined to listen when you show how your ideas are supporting them than by emphasizing others faults.

Take a look at the words you are using. Do you hear yourself often say ‘I like to do…’ or ‘I dream of becoming …’?  Feel the difference when you change those into ‘I do….’ and ‘I am …’. Feel the effect on your self-worth and your confidence. It will make you stronger when taking new steps.

It cannot feel good to tear others down and to judge them just because they’re different. Even more, what is the good in everyone being the same? There is a valid reason why we’re all different. As humans we constantly need to evolve to keep up, and meeting people who are different will hand us an opportunity to learn new things. If not, our lives would be dull and monotonous. Besides there isn’t such a good track record for species that didn’t evolve while the world was changing. Why not try to broaden your view and to enrich your life with new friends and relationships. Who knows where it will lead you.

It is a good thing to keep up with what is happening in your neighborhood, country or in the world. But how does it affect your mood if you continually feed yourself only with news about things that go wrong and when you constantly share and react to this? Do you feel relaxed and lighthearted and do you have no trouble falling asleep at night? Or are all the muscles in your body tensed to the max and you hear yourself angrily talking back to your tv or computer screen?

It helps to blend some positive news into your daily news feed.

This equally applies if you are responsible for writing or making news items. Don’t just focus on the bad stuff, but reserve time for people and organizations that do come up with new ideas and solutions. No, this is not sugarcoating the reality. This is giving your viewers and readers a bigger picture of the world they live in and encourages them to make positive change as well.

The year of the doers, the rebels, the builders

The negativity we see in our world is not only caused by people with bad intentions, people who willingly put others down or who don’t show any empathy at all. When we get caught up in their views and mind games, we become enablers ourselves of the negativity in our world.

What we see happening now is a result of too long repressed bad experiences, emotional wounds, deceit, abuse and more. It comes to the surface to show us that this can no longer go on. It is a sign that this cycle of negativity is coming to an end and that it has to be replaced by something else.

Don’t perpetuate a cycle that is already ending by feeding it with more negativity. Let it end. Start building something positive.


Featured image by Clark Tibbs on Unsplash

Image of door by Samuel Zeller on Unsplash


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Sensitief zijn en je emoties voelen is sterk en positief. Maar in onze samenleving vinden wij vaak het tegenovergestelde. Al lange tijd slaan we de plank volledig mis. We komen er steeds meer achter dat niet voelen en niet over je gevoelens praten juist voor problemen als stress, depressies en ongezonde keuzes zorgt. En dat sensitief zijn een sterke eigenschap is waar we veel meer mee kunnen. Door mijn verhalen te delen wil ik je laten zien dat sensitief zijn en je lastige emoties aangaan zoveel sterker is dan niet voelen en dat we als sensitief mens (wat we allemaal zijn) gewoon mogen Zijn.

About me
Being sensitive and feeling your emotions is powerful and positive. But for centuries we’re thinking quite the opposite. We’ve been wrong all this time. We are starting to understand that not feeling and avoiding to talk about our feelings is what is causing our problems (stress, depression, unhealthy choices). We now also know that being sensitive is more than emotions and that it’s a quality that can help us in many more ways. By sharing my own stories I’d love to show you that being sensitive and feeling your difficult emotions is much stronger than not feeling at all and that as a sensitive being (which we all are) we can just Be.
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