How I restore my balance as a sensitive
It is a typical morning at the beginning of summer. I’m driving on the highway and around me cars are flashing by in their hurry to arrive wherever they need to be. What was at first a blue sky, is now covered in a thin layer of clouds where the sun does it best to peek through. The radio is on mute and it is quiet in my car. And that is fine by me. Music would make me even more restless than I already am. The signs on the highway reveal that with every mile I’m getting closer to my destination for today; Amersfoort, Amsterdam, Schiphol and then, the exit to the sea. I’m on my way. On my way to balance.
The last few days I’ve been feeling on edge. Being both highly sensitive and an empath I know this can be caused by a lot of things. Stress, too much processing what’s going on, difficult emotions like anger or grief that trouble me, a schedule filled with meetings that overlap each other. But when I pause and reflect I feel that none of these is the cause behind my restless feelings. And still, my body is not at ease. When I wake up in the morning it’s all good. But during the day tension starts to build and by the end of the day I’m full. Filled with subtleties and restless energy. By then my body is tense, I’m overwhelmed and agitated and most of all, I feel drained.
The people around me are restless, parts of the world seemed turned upside down. Relationships ending, jobs getting lost, insecurities about where everything’s going, emotions that pop up because of all of this. Their worries and feelings are filling the air around them. And so, they are filling the air around me. And as an empath I am open, and I feel what they feel.
Protection from the inside out
By now I’ve gotten used to the fact that this can happen. I know that I can’t shield myself from everything. Even more, I don’t want to shield myself! By protecting myself from the difficult vibes I also would be shielding myself from the nice and pleasant vibes. And that would be a shame. It’s not either/or. By now I’ve learned how important it is to listen to my feelings and to my body. To feel when I’ve reached a limit and I’m at risk of losing my balance. I’ve learned how important it is to discern, between what is mine and the feelings of somebody else. To leave their feelings with them and not take them on myself. And I’ve learned the importance of taking good care of myself.
The more I can keep a balance in my life between productivity and rest, and balance the stressful moments with joyful experiences, and when I keep looking at myself and what I do with compassion, the more stable I am. The better I can deal with the occasionally restless vibes from others. Then it isn’t necessary to shield myself. Then I protect myself, from the inside out.
So, today is a day of taking care of myself. By going hiking and moving my limbs, so that my body can release the built up tension. By going into nature and filling my senses with the soft and pleasant subtleties that are there. Today I’m on my way to the sea. To a peaceful place where I will not only find my balance, but where the salty seawater helps discharging the restless vibes from my body.
When I arrive at the beach a few minutes later, the clouds have dissolved and the bluest of skies have appeared with the sun now shining bright. In one straight line I walk from the parking lot to the water and when I reach the sandy beach I quickly take of my shoes.
The moment my feet touch the salty seawater I stop and for a moment I close my eyes. My senses start absorbing. I feel how the sun warms my face. I hear the soft sound of the waves crushing on the beach. I feel how the waves come and go and slowly cover my feet with water and then pull back and return again. With every wave I feel how the restlessness leaves my body and my balance, returns.
